Messes and more Messes

Dear Dallan, Have my kids given me material this week or what!?! I’ve got some good stories so get ready to laugh! First of all we will start with Hunter, My little Tasmanian Devil for the time being. Have I ever told you that I do not really care for 2 year olds or the messes they make. They call it the terrible twos for a reason you know.
Last Sunday he dumped out half a can of William’s Baby formula all over the basement rug. Right before church. Not only did he dump it out but spread it out and carried around little scoopfuls and deposited them around the room. Stiles and Marcus pled innocence even though they were right there the whole time. I issued the order for them to clean it up but Jon decided they were not very adequate cleaners and took over the operation of my new dyson and got the brunt of the mess.
We had breakfast for dinner one night this week you know everything, Eggs, sausage, pancakes, Hash browns, the works well I had cleaned up dinner and put just about every thing away. There were a few things still out on the counter but they could wait. American Idol was starting on TV and I settled myself down to listen to the contestants for this week. Well even though the show was not that great, American Idol is not the focus of this story. Hunter decided he was still hungry and climbed up on the counter and got back down off the counter with the mixing bowl of leftover pancake batter and the spatula that was in the bowl. Now you can see the potential. But instead of dumping out the contents in one focused area he took the spatula and flipped, dribbled and in general thinly spread pancake batter all over most surfaces in He and Erica, and Will’s bedroom. Yep he is just a mess master.
Later in the week Hunter drug out from under the kitchen sink the ice cream bucket full of dishwasher soap. And carried it to the living room. I need to mention I had just finished a very meticulous vacuuming job of the room earlier that day, even moving couches and vacuuming under them. Well the scoop that goes with the soap was put to good flinging use and there was dish soap all over. Stiles and Marcus again pled innocence. Erica was the one who ratted them out. And Later that evening when I was giving haircuts I even found soap granules in Stiles hair. I think that Stiles is guilty as an accomplice. But the evidence was circumstantial until Stiles said “Well Hunter started it” I heard this quite a few times this week from my oldest two boys. And Erica was always the one to rat them out.
So on to the next mess. Syrup painting on the kitchen floor. Required a bath with all of the clothes including shoes to go into the water before being removed from the child so as not to spread the sticky work of art. Hunter got out of the fridge a half dozen eggs and broke them all over. Stiles cleaned up some of the mess out of the living room carpet and poured about 10 gallons of water on the floor to clean up the mess. I did not know this fact and Put William down in the middle of the giant Wet spot and then wondered who had poured water all over my baby. Jon came to the rescue and told me the whole story. But It still didn’t warm Williams cold wet body up.
The biggest and funniest , now that it is over, story involves Stiles, Marcus, and Hunter. It also involves about 2-3 pounds of Country Crock slow churned Spread. (aka butter) I was taking a nap and the savages took over. Erica again ratted them out by coming to my room and declaring that Stiles had thrown butter at her and it was “IN HER HAIR! AND ON HER CLOTHES!” The hair was the most stressful part for her feminine soul. I called my offending son into my room for questioning and saw Butter all over his hands. His response was “ Well Hunter started it!” I called up Marcus and he too was caught “yellow handed.” Now I know myself and knew that if any punishments were issued at this moment a police cruiser might have to come and get me. So I ordered my sons to clean it all up. I rolled back over in bed and tried to ignore that my house was all a bit slicker in some areas. Soon I knew I needed to be roused since I could hear them pouring water onto the floor in order to clean up the mess. So Now I had a greased swimming pool. At this point I knew that any spanking of butts, time out, or any other forceful nature to get the messed cleaned up would surely land me in the slammer. I stood at the top of the stairs and ranted a raved for a few minutes and then locked myself in my room again. When I emerged every single clean towel I had washed and folded and careful put away the day before was now on the floor of my kitchen and other areas of my house in an attempt to soak up the mess that Mom was threatening butts and lives over. At this point I locked myself in. I had already resisted arrest this long. I didn’t figure I should dance with the Devil. So I called my friend, Kendra and bawled to her for an hour until Jon got home from what was that…. Snowmobiling! Yes you heard me. -He needed a break- Well when Jon got home I let him help with the discipline he was forceful but kept his cool. The kids had the house in ship shape in almost no time flat with their Dad hanging around with a swift kick for any who lollygagged.
But the very next day, Hunter was scooping Williams formula out of the can and making piles in the Kitchen.
Go ahead Laugh! Laugh out loud. And Stiles still says, “See Hunter started it!”
SO a quick story about Erica. Even though right now she is my top spy and always delivers crucial mess making information I do have a great girly story about her. This week she was invited to an “Incredible Hulk” birthday party. And I was asked if it would be okay if the birthday boys mom put green in everybody hair as part of the party. I said I didn’t care, and all week Stiles and Marcus have been “green” with envy at Erica being invited to this party and have mentioned several times how it will be so cool for her to have green hair. Well the day of the party arrived and Erica was flatly refusing to go. After a week of hype she all of the sudden was desperate to not attend. When I asked her why not she in a very timid and exasperated voice said “I don’t want my hair to be green!” I assured her that she didn’t have to have green hair if she didn’t want it. And she was happy as a clam to have a green headband with a huge pink bow atop her head instead. She is such a prissy little thing!
So I guess this week was full of messes. I hope you haven’t landed yourself in any yourself. I am sure I shall have to clean up a least one more this upcoming week. I don’t think Hunter will relent on his “if you can fling it, fling it now” approach to my house.
Love Monica Jon and the mess monsters