Our Handful of Children

Hunter, William, and Wyatt

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Halloween and Piles of Poop

My computer had a hickup (*read crash and burn) that had me in tears for several days. We apparently downloaded a virus when we were watching conference. IT was NOT pretty and all of our business files were saved in the wrong format and we were unable to retrieve them. I have hated this dumb PC from the first day Jon brought it home but supposedly it was the best priced hunk of junk out there. I would have rather paid more and got a computer instead of the joke of a machine that now cumbers my office desk….BUY A MAC.
So with that in mind I will try to bring you all up to speed in 10,000 words or less. Jon has been hunting and has brought home an elk and 2 deer so far he has two more deer tags which he hope to fill. I hope he does it VERY soon.
William has pooped and peed in the potty. We all celebrated but are not pressing the issue. He is very quietly stubborn and we are willing to wait until we are sure we will win the battle sooner rather than later. His most endearing quality of late is he response of “No I not” which he gives in most circumstances. “Your silly-No I not” “Your funny- No I not” You made a mess- No I not” “you are soaking wet and have been playing in the toilet- no I not” “ your in trouble- No I not” J He also answers yes to the question “do you want a spanking?” This usually gets him out of one and the reverse psychology is working well on his parents. He is making terrific messes which give Stiles and Hunter a run for the title but has not yet out done them yet. However the other morning I found him downstairs laying in the middle of ALL of Stiles and Marcus Halloween candy. ( I told myself I would deal with that mess AFTER my shower) and then After my shower I found him in the middle of the Kitchen floor in a HUGE puddle of pancake syrup. Oh and someone had peed on the floor in the bathroom that morning too. I never did get to the candy mess. I was following Will around taking away markers and sharp object and any other destructive feet he was trying to accomplish. HE is TWO…sigh.
This Halloween we hosted a neighborhood Trunk or treat and Potluck dinner in the upper reaches of the Woodin Nickel Barn. It was well attended and we ran out of chairs and candy. My kids were dressed as the following. Stiles-Clown. Marcus- Knight. Erica- Fairy Princess. Hunter- Orange bad guy (I’m not sure either but he wore orange fairy wings as part of his costume) William- cowboy Wyatt- devil. Jon and I were Pirates and we all had fun. The barn is still decorated as I have not found time to take it down.
I did finally harvest the rest of the carrots and onions and I threw the Brussels sprouts to the goats. (they were VERY bitter) And then roto-tilled the whole thing under and as I was doing so I decided that the rest of the world gardens just so they can have a small taste of what it might be like to be a farmer. But without the risk or course. I think I have a good idea as to why Dad loves to plow. It is pretty fun to just roll everything over and under.
The Primary Program came and went and the Kids all did their parts beautifully Stiles told a story about how he followed the promptings of the holy ghost. Marcus talked about working with the animals and serving his family. And Erica yelled into the microphone her part “I felt good when I helped Stiles get out from under a chair.” Everyone giggled because of her confidence and her volume and Stiles was mortified because he thought everyone was laughing at him for getting stuck under the recliner. It was a great program.
Alright here is my funny scenario of the month. Yesterday we are preparing to go to Utah to witness Luke’s Baptism and enjoy some good company south of the Idaho border. Well we have given ourselves a 30 minutes cushion for our leave time just so we won’t be a crazy rush. Well it is about time to leave and I have left the task of bathing and Dressing my youngest three until the bitter end because lets face it they are boys and will become horribly messy in a very short amount of time. Well I got Wyatt dressed first and set him down thinking that his messes are usually minimal. I gather up William and strip him down and throw him in the tub only to discover that sometime in the last hour he has managed to step in a nice big pile of dog poop and it is all over his shoes and in a couple of places throughout my house. SO I throw Will in the tub then scrub down the shoes in the sink and place them under my blow dryer to hopefully have them dry in time. Then I helped Hunter get dressed and he looks good new Sunday clothes and the whole bit. So I send him off and he goes to get in the van because that is where the older kids are and they are all geeked up because I put the portable DVD player in the van so they are getting all ready to go. Then I head to the bathroom to fish William out of the tub. I had left him in until the end as a damage control measure. Well when I walked in I found him in a very very VERY poopy bathtub. No big deal right. Kids poop in the tub, not the first time not the last time. So I start hosing off my boy and the tub and everything else I can hit with the shower wand and William is screaming because he was not in the bargain for a shower he wanted a bath. Anyway I soap him up and rinse him off a declare him non toxic and pull him out of the tub. At this same moment my three oldest children come whooping and hollering and screaming bloody murder that Hunter has pooped and it is ALL OVER THE VAN. Sure enough he had a case of explosive diarrhea and it has landed in his shorts his new dress pants down his legs and in his sock and new shoes and there was a mice amount on the floor of the van. Jon was assigned to clean up the van and I got the boy since now I have to not only bathe but find a complete new set of clothes for the poor child including shoes. We set to work and finally end up smelling a lot better all round not quite roses but marigolds might be the right flower to compare too. Except for Wyatt came crawling into the bathroom right through the less than clean water puddles that have now made themselves known on my bathroom floor so he now needs a new pair of Sunday pants. So now we are ready right, new clean Sunday clothes all around I finally get William dressed. He has been streaking through the house for about 15 minutes now. And I decided his poopy dog shoes are not going to cut it so we hunt to find his boots and magically we find them BOTH. Whew poops all over, into the car right. we should have left 10 minutes ago. Well no I am informed that Wyatt needs yet a new pair of Sunday pants AGAIN since he crawled outside and right through the puddle of yucky poopy water that Jon had used to clean out the floor of the van. I’ve already exhausted all of my extra Sunday clothes and now I am down to a pair of Jogging pants. Hey they are black and they work. We throw in our potluck Salad and a few other changes of clothes (just in case, hey we are batting a thousand right now) and finally with our 30 minute cushion all the way gone we pull out of the drive only to realize that we do not have the address to the church house so we stop pull back in and find the email with the right info and we are finally off. 20 minutes later as we were getting close to leaving Pocatello behind us. We hear from the peanut galleries in the back seat “MOM? I have to go to the bathroom…” It turns out that EVERYONE needs to go. So we pull back off the freeway and into a gas station so that we can all get rid of the extra pressure and then we drive like bats out of china and make it to the baptism in the nick of time after one more pull off the freeway because Hunter has to pee and can not hold it any longer….that boy did have some definite pressure and distance. The ride home was much less entertaining.