Dallan Letter Dec 21 VOMIT MONSTER

Dallan, Merry Christmas! DEC, 21 2008(Vomit Monster)
Well Dallan, you know how two weeks ago I wrote to you and told you what a klutz I am and that I was sporting a huge gash down my shin from tripping over a drawer. We double my klutziness. I know have two gashes on my shin. How does this kind of thing happen twice you might ask. Well I will just put it into one word “HUNTER”. See Hunter is really trying to out do his oldest brother. And has discovered that if he pulls out the drawers that go under my bed that the drawer becomes a convenient step stool and he is able to crawl up on my bed with ease. Therefore the reason I continue to trip over my drawers is because Hunter is pulling them out and I am not realizing that they are out until it is the middle of the night and the room is dark.
My kids have been having a blast trying to speak in Spanish. You would laugh so hard at their efforts. They are all the time saying “gracias.” and “Feliez Navidad” And counting to ten. I am glad I did take Spanish in high school because for years I have felt like it we a complete waste of time. But now it is so fun to name things like “la Leche” and “hermano, Y hermana,” My kids think I am so smart, and they laugh when I tell them to “get back to trabajo!” (that does mean “work “ doesn’t it?) Just laugh at me OKAY!
This week has been like any other crazy week. We were visited by a few different unwelcome guests. Our first guest tried to kill us, until we tore it apart. Our second guest jumped around and attempted to gross every one out and our third guest showed up on the rebound and has me home from church today. Who are these guests? Let me tell you about them.
In our living room there are 7 large single pane windows. While cosmetically appealing they do not keep the Idaho cold out as well as a lizard like myself would desire. No problem someone in the past had the same attitude and installed a wood burning pellet stove. On Monday I turned the said stove on and had it burning for a while, to take the chill off. Then for some reason it went off and I had a large amount of smoke come into the room. Well that wasn’t too cool but I turned the stove on again to get it going and eliminate the smoke this worked until the fire suddenly went out and deposited a large billowing cloud of smoke in the house again. I figured that the chimney must somehow be clogged with snow or something and did not bother with the stove again. I turned down the thermostat all the way so that it would not try and turn itself on again. As the day went on I forgot the mess but could still smell smoke and figured it was from the earlier smoking moments. Well about 4 pm my carbon monoxide alarm went off. And I realized that I had not turned the fireplace all the way off somehow. So I unplugged the thing and opened some doors and windows, turned on fans, Turned off the furnace , and packed all of the kids out of the house for a visit to grandmas. We waited for a few hours and then Jon checked the chimney all seemed clear and the detector wasn’t beeping anymore so we turned on the heat and tucked our kids in bed. At almost midnight the carbon monoxide detector starting beeping again. So Jon and I got up and went to our now evil looking fireplace and scratched our heads trying to figure out why It kept on trying to kill us. We used a flashlight and in the beam we were able to see smoke still coming out of the cursed thing. So we did what anybody would do to their enemy. We starting tearing the thing to pieces. And finally we found our problem. There was a smoldering fire UNDER the fireplace area. So the smoke wasn’t going up the chimney it was just floating out the vent. So we cleaned that out and opened all the windows and doors again. Threw extra blankets on all the kids and jumped back in bed. See What had happened was the last time I had cleaned out the fireplace I had dislodged a key like piece that sits in the ceramic stone where the fire normally burns. I didn’t know I had done this so as I was using the fireplace the pellets were falling all the way through and made a pile under the fireplace . That was what had caught fire and was smoldering underneath. WE count our blessings that we are not dead.
Our next visitor showed up the next night in the form of Vomit. Erica showed her unlikely friend on the way to the ward party and then again at the ward party, but we persevered so as to see SANTA. Then in the night our visitor because fast friends with Hunter and in the morning had a split personality and jumped ship to Marcus. I had to rescue the school from his wrath. Back home we laid about and hung out close to the porcelain bus and about the minute I thought perhaps I could make it to the grocery store Hunter let us know that He still was being visited by an unfriendly friend. All puke aside we had a lovely Friday and Saturday.
Sunday morning greeted us will another round of upchuck all over Marcus’s bed and I mean ALL OVER his bed. So Marcus, Hunter, Will and I are skipping Church. Jon left feeling as if somehow he had been conned and that it should be his job to stay home with the kids. I pointed out to him that he had a lesson to teach and I did not have anything like that. Also I have been feeling sick all week and would rather not go. And I was only sending him with 2 children and keeping 3. And one of those was very likely to barf all over something and the other two could easily blow poop out of their diapers. If I went to church I would expect he keep the three “explosive” children. He decided that Stiles and Erica were the better choice, although he did leave here throwing dark looks and muttering under his breath, something about a game on TV.
I am hoping our guests will soon depart and leave us alone for the next few holiday weeks. But if they don’t I guess we will just try not the spread the “Joy” of their visits with any of those who we love and appreciate.
Good luck to you and Merry Christmas. I am looking in the mailbox everyday hoping your letter will show before Thursday so I can share it with the rest of the family over the holidays. We love you and miss you. Our hearts ache that you will be missing from our celebrations this year but we smile in spite of it and know that we would not have it any other way. We pray that your efforts will bless our brothers and sisters in Mexico and that they may come to know their Savior, Jesus Christ. Work hard. The Church is true. President Monson is a Prophet. Joseph Smith restored the gospel to the earth. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. It was prepared for us in our day. There is amazing power and testimony in that book of scriptures.

Love Monica, Jon, Stiles, Marcus, Erica, Hunter, and William. (But not the vomit monster)